U need to write a poem...poetry

but no one reads poetry.
egoist...find me the toughest market. no wonder you're exhausted but listen
so aren't we all.

How long to gaze at navel
as long as it takes
it has taken what it has taken.

U R here now.
Oops...now you're not.

Uncertainty principle
to be
ABSOLUTELY SURE
that we are right

goes against the most basic principle of
quantum mechanics.

[i'm sorry if the lunatics have taken over the asylum but y'know
at least they've had therapy.]

I'VE BEEN ON BOTH SIDES OF THE DESK [no that was accidental hitting of caps lock... i'm not shouting...{ it took

looonger
to explain that
than it would of took
to fix it.}]

we do that too.

i'm thinking in poetry
but wonder if it makes sense.

content is crucial not just pretty words...

should the words be pretty? will anyone hear them? we all of me hear them?
Am I being self-centered or merely telling my own story like they teach us in 12 step.

I can't write almost anonymous if I'm not there anymore
well no one's perfect...

almost indeed.

Double lives shadow characters nemesis nemesises? nemisi?
do not be afraid to look at anything
after you've written it.
I can write alright
I can't re-write. I used to be a great re-writer.

Do I have a capable persona to return to?
Only one way to find out.
How much does one have to lose?
Steve and I now have approx same clean date.

Fuck me hard running backwards.
don't leave me alone with well it's an anonymous program

show me how
and pray for courage to do next right thing

I got get me greek
I can't get it.
I keep grogging off in the middle.

I'm not sure we have completely overlapping taste in movies but I bet there's a bunch of not-quite-mainstream ones we both like; Passionfish is one. Priest (the Irish one about a gay priest not another movie of same name comes up first in most searches) is another. Aimee & Jaguar. Memento.

if writing poetry, don't need 500 words cuz ideas r deliberately compressed. Like Campbell's Soup.

My Babci (grandmother/Polish) moved to Philadelphia as a young woman to housekeep and worked in Campbells soup factory:
I'll do a verbal Warhol

Campbell's soup
tomato
Campbell's Soup
chicken noodle
Campbell's Soup
tomato
Marilyn
Cambell's Soup
tomsto

because peeps are sooo oversaturated with colored images coming at them constantly now any idiot can post pictures and most do (ie, why bother--work on that)
they'll be hungry for nostalgic ditto pages that smell good and sort of get you
high
but not really kind of like O'Doules
not really--used to say in PA: you have to read the labels very carefully. It says "non-alcoholic" beverage. That means it's for non-alcoholics. You don't qualify.

So it goes

anyway, no one wants to hear my grandmother story. I'm a lousy story teller. I have a funny voice but no natural gift for telling a story. So I keep reading thinking I'll understand how to write a story. But I never apply it.

Why should I apply it?
oh,
I'm applying it now
because there is only now
and if you can't be happy in the now
why be at all?

some lead settled lives. safe. I thought I did but I was in terrible danger and being hurt badly but going on and on and on

my Stalin
it makes no sense

hence
the Uncertainty Principle

I'm OK
no I'm not
I'm OK
no I'm not
I'm whatever I'm supposed to be at this moment?

If only I could believe

I want to be quantum
I want to be in two places at the same time so I
never make up my mind unless
someone is looking.

That's different.

I am Schrodinger's cat
Don't look at me
force me to be
something.
Hell is other people
so is heaven
see?
Uncertainty