Thursday, July 4, 2013

Michelle set up a false reality

Michelle set up a false realityAnd when I challenged the parameters of that reality, she balked. She railed. She grew vicious. These are head games and they are dark. I was pulled down a rabbit hole and now I'm a starved, shivering, naked bunny with vultures circling and lions drooling.

help

That's what narcissists do. and I've been told, be glad she'd dead and get on with your life. And I let everything slip through my fingers because I had no idea how to hold on to anything. I feel five years old.

Part of me knows there''s a happy world out there. Part of me believes that's a lie. It's for others, not me I will always be hurled into the void screaming on the edge of nothingness. I was terrified to look out a dark window as a kid for fear I'd see a vampire. Not a baby, I mean like 11, 12 years old too old to believe in ghosts.

I don't believe in god but I believe in dark forces waiting to tear me limb from limb like Whats-her-name under the influence of Dyonisius. Murdered her own son. Well god murdered my mother, tore her limb from limb in lingering pain for years what should I trust?

Then Michelle with emphysema
Now Kelly.
I don't know if I can do it. Haven't I had my share of dying friends, mothers, wives? WTF? No one healthy comes near me they don't need me.




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